En route to Vacation Bible School
Since I never attended Vacation Bible School, here are some Scriptural "facts" I never learned. These are culled from Bible tests taken by children.
- Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
- Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.
- Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
- Samson slew the Philistines using the Axe of the Apostles.
- Unleavened bread is bread without any ingredients.
- After the Egyptians drowned in dessert, Moses went up Mt. Cyanide to get the Commandments.
- The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
- Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
- The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to be still and he obeyed him.
- David fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people in Biblical times.
- Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
- When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
- The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibels.
- The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
- After St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.